Social Distancing, Stay Home Orders and the closing of many businesses has caused families to spend a lot more time at home together.  While for the most part this is a good thing, and most of us feel blessed to have the extra time with our families, it ca be tough on marriages. Time.com posted a recent article, Can Your Relationship Survive the Togetherness of a Pandemic?  Here are 11 Things Couples' Therapists Recommend.  Click on the image to the right to view the article. 

I've been married 32 years, and for most of those years I've felt happily married. But, like any marriage, there were days, weeks, months, even years where we really struggled. There were times when I thought about ending my marriage but  there were two reasons that kept me from moving forward with it.  First, it was our children - I'd made a personal commitment to provide my kids with a stable family environment. For me, that meant growing up in a home with both their mother and father. The second reason I didn't pursue a divorce was because I knew that my husband was a good man - someone I was proud to be married to. We just weren't getting along. As time went on, my husband and I worked things out. It sounds like a cliché but marriage definitely takes work, and it definitely takes a lot of communication. 

It's been about ten years since that low point in our marriage. Today, my marriage is as good as it ever was. I'm so glad I never pursued getting divorced. I can't imagine my life without my husband. He is my rock, my best friend and my biggest supporter. 

Every marriage is different, and I would never ever suggest someone stay in a marriage that is abusive or toxic, but for me personally, still loving the person my husband was, I wanted things to work out. I was willing to stick it out and work on it. That effort paid off for us. 

If you're in a struggling marriage, my advice to you is, if you still care about your spouse but feel you've grown apart, don't give up. Try working it out. The reward is so worth the effort. 

Here are a just a few other things I've learned over the years:

• Just because you're married, it doesn't mean you and your spouse have the same personal goals or dreams. You should have dreams and goals as a couple, or family, but you probably have your own personal goals as well. Be your spouse's biggest cheerleader. Support their dreams, be there for them when they fall. Encourage them, even if their dream is not your dream. 
• Give your spouse the freedom to have fun without you. It's important to maintain your individual friends. You've got your whole life to spend together. Don't get hung up over your spouse going out with friends and having fun. It's good for them, and ultimately it's good for your relationship. 
• Don't be a part of spouse bashing conversations. It seems so common for both men and women to complain about their spouses to others. I'm not referring to times when you need a good friend to listen. I'm talking about times when you're in a group setting, talking about all the things your spouse does to annoy you. Your spouse is who you CHOSE to be your partner in life. You chose them for a reason - remember those reasons. They are what made you fall in love. Wouldn't you rather tell people about your spouse's good points, instead of the bad ones? Be your spouse's biggest fan. Respect them. You know their heart better than anyone - stand up for them when they fall. 

Going forward, this page will be used to provide tips and share stories about loving your spouse!  

Got a story to share?  Send it to me.  We may use it on the site.